It's not easy being sleazy.
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Loren Takes on....
Saturday...and Fabscout by Loren McLeod
VidioView.com
Pic courtesy Kevin Kerdash,
Saturday, January 5, 2008, was a busy day for me, and I almost don’t know where to begin.
OK, I do. Waking up in my king size bed with half a dozen assorted dogs. I thought the beagle lying right next to me was my dog Joxer, so I reached over and gave him a tummy rub. He turned out to be Tindall, a beagle, but my very troubled foster who dislikes tummy rubs so much he bites the fuck out of anyone who tries to give him one. He bit the fuck out of my right thumb. Indeed, so hard did he bite he broke the nail, and I don’t mean the tip of my Lee Press-On Nails. He cracked it horizontally across the middle. Imagine what an adventure that’s going to be to heal.
I’m typing more slowly than I typically do, as hitting the space bar between every friggin’ word feels like murder. Still, I’m so jazzed about my visit to the new and bigger Fabscout/Gio Media Studios in Ft. Lauderdale I couldn’t wait.
I picked up a German Shepherd mix from Orange County Animal Services at 10 a.m. and transported him to a rescue in Port St. Lucie. Then I continued south on 95 in order to visit Howard and Gio, who were working the weekend. I showed up around 1:30 p.m., at which time Gio and the adorable and so sweet Bailee were busy on the makeshift second floor of their now-huge facility shooting Rocco,
an extremely handsome, built, sexy and gracious young man from Atlanta. Howard was free and gave me a very quiet tour of the studio. We tiptoed around, whispering so as not to bother or distract Rocco and the others. We tiptoed around for what seemed like forever, not because I was bored, but because the place is so enormous. Set after set: locker room, bedroom, dungeon, office, bathroom…it went on and on and included sets that had recently been used by the producers of “Another Gay Sequel,” the sequel to the very funny and well done “Another Gay Movie.” Yup, they leased Howard and Gio’s space, for six weeks that became three months.
To say I was in awe of the space, the growth of Fabscout/Gio Media, would have been an understatement. When I commented on it to Mark Adams for his end of the year column I didn’t realize the extent to which I was right. Rocco was performing for cockyboys.com, “Another Gay Sequel” had just wrapped, the new FPG Entertainment was leasing space, there were a dozen other projects lined up, and on top of this Howard was coordinating the Hustla Ball, the AVN & GAVN convention in Las Vegas, the GAYVN Awards in February and Orlando’s Gay Days in June.
My tour ended with Howard’s explanation of all the clutter and, well, stuff, that was all over the place. “I’m in prop Hell,” he said, as the “Another Gay Sequel” producers had left most of their props and some of their furniture behind. Taking it with them to wherever they are now would not have been cost-effective, so they left it. Beds, bureaus, inflatable pool toys and a ton of other things. Further, Howard & Gio are wholesaling a broad range of four to six hour porn compilation DVDs. He explained how he landed that opportunity but I can’t remember the details. Something else to keep him and his staff busy…
I was excited that my friends are so busy. Howard is, too, though he was working on a Saturday I’m sure he would have preferred spending at home with Gio and their two beautiful greyhounds.
When we returned to his office Howard told me one of the reasons he was at work that day. “Lukas Ridgeston missed his flight. He’s going to be here in five minutes.” Why, God. Why?!?! I said to myself. What have I done that you would make me meet Lukas Ridgeston after a four hour drive, my longer hair a mess, my deodorant having quit working at West Palm and my right thumb purple and swollen (purple and swollen…). Seconds later Lukas walked in, and can I tell you he is every bit as beautiful in real life as in print and on video.
Breathtaking. Truly. No fancy makeup, lights or photoshop editing needed to make him beautiful. It’s all natural: the face, the eyes, the bod, the eyes, the teeth, the eyes, the accent, the eyes… Howard introduced us and I shook his hand with my fingers only. Moments later the three of us went out into the studio to say hi to Gio, Bailee and Rocco, who had just finished his scene. Ten minutes later Dallas Reeves shows up to pick up his lover Bailee. Reeves' blonde hair is really short now, which disappoints me because I fell in love with his mane when I first met him at Howard & Gio’s three years ago. Still, he remains stunning. Oh, and then another new Fabscout model, Nordic God Clint Wolf, decides to show up. Ditto the very sexy duo, director Cameron Finn (love that name) and producer Marco Guerra (guns for days and eyes to rival Ridgeston’s).
Yeah, so there I was, forty-one year-old Loren McLeod looking like Madeline from 'The Fall of the House of Usher,' or something Tindall bit, swallowed and shat, as skinny as I was in college thanks to finally going vegan, but nevertheless feeling dreadful, surveying the studio of hot men, Fabscout assistant Matt Locke among them, and thinking of Cloris Leachman carrying on to Timothy Bottoms in 1971’s “The Last Picture Show” after he stops seeing her because, she snarls, “I’m old and ugly!”
Yeah, I was ready to go.
Before I left, though, I shot a few minutes for “Seamus Bane Services the Community,” the mockumentary I’ve been putting together for five months.
Gio and Matt were kind enough to appear as, OK, Gio and Matt, complaining to the camera, the lens cap of which the former was kind enough to take off a half a moment before I hit record(!), about how irritating Seamus was, calling and visiting the Fabscout/Gio Media studios, begging for a contract and claiming to have a twelve inch dick. They were amazing, by the way. They so nailed it, so well and easily that I was a little concerned, you know? The handsome, sweet and adorable Andrew Addams also has a cameo, which I shot the weekend before on the corner of Amelia and Orange Blossom Trail in Whorelando, near the Parliament House, where all the male hookers hang out. He nailed it too. What good sports they all are to indulge me.
Howard prepared a goody bag for me to take home. It includes ID Lube, an ID Lube shirt into which I changed before Ridgeston showed up, ditching the smelly T in which I had arrived, Fabscout pens and notepads, “Vulcan” brand condoms, which were props in “Another Gay Sequel,” Wet brand shaving cream, which is really good and also doubles as lube, and a copy of “Top Dawgs,” an FPG Entertainment movie directed and produced, respectively, by the aforementioned Cameron Finn (love that name) and Marco Guerra, who, I forgot to mention, brought their beautiful German Shepherd Camellia, with them. What a beautiful and sweet dog she is. She needs to be spayed, though, right away, as she was in heat. Sorry, had just been to the pound that morning where I saw, for the gazillionth time the sad, terrifying and tragic results of not spay/neutering pets.
Speaking of FPG, earlier in the visit Howard showed me the extremely well done trailer for their next release, “Betrayed,” starring Trey Casteel. OMG, it was really well done. Well written and put together, and featuring a voice over I recognized from tons of mainstream A-list feature films. Wow.
Speaking of FPG again, at home that night, as Tindall ravaged me with kisses of “sorry, I didn’t mean to bite your right thumb off,” I saw “Top Dawgs.”
I was pleasantly surprised to find it has a plot and good dialogue that wasn’t irritating and didn’t compete with the sex scenes. And the sex scenes were really good, especially the one with Alexy Tyler and Dak Ramsey. What a coupling! It’s a rare treat to watch fellas so passionate and into each other and having the most fun of their lives. The only problem I had with the movie, and I just have to get it off my chest, is that in it, Cole Ryan plays a bully boxing trainer. Two separate times he beats up Trey Casteel, the second time torturing his dick & nuts while he sits, bare-assed, and I mean actually sits, on Casteel’s face. Ryan then flips his larger, brawnier costar over and jams his fingers up his ass.
OK, Trey Casteel could throw Cole Ryan across a room, and pour coffee with his other hand. Was Parker Williams or the aforementioned Nordic God Clint Wolf unavailable for the role. I like Cole Ryan, especially in Titan’s “Closed Set” and “SpyQuest 2,” but he was miscast as the boxing trainer. He was. I totally see him, and I don’t mean this negatively, playing a kick-ass satyr. I mean it. Couldn’t you see him as Pan? Legs of a goat, tight, hairy, muscled torso, horns in his head and playing a flute. I’m serious. Should someone produce a gay porn version of “A Midsummer Nights Dream” (Jett Blakk?), Cole Ryan would be perfect for Puck.
OK. I think I covered everything.
Rocco, Loren and that Lukas guy
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