VidioView.com
 | ||||
To sign up for my newsletter and get HCB in your face, errrrr in your inbox, go to http://www.partywithbrandon.com/newmain.htm
For some candid Brandon pics from his travels, click here.
To see my rack - where all the past HCB are stored, go to http://www.partywithbrandon.com/newhcbarchives.htm
To tell me what you think about this and how hard it is to understand anything I write: BrandonBakerXXX@aol.com
If you're a real masochist and just have to have more of this, check out Brandon at http://www.partywithbrandon.com/newhcbarchives.htm
Read Mark Adams' ancient interview with Brandon here.
Copyright 2006 V V Ltd., BNV
Dear Cupid,
Listen babe, I know you are overworked and this time of year is stressful for you, but honey, do you know who I think I am?
I don’t know who you think you are… (…well, actually I do, you are the cherub guy who shoots arrows of love at people, but that’s beside the point right now…) but this deal you got going sounds sweet.
Heck, can I sign up?
WANTED: YOUNG-LOOKING FLYING BOY TO SHOOT UNSUSPECTING PEOPLE IN HEART. MUST WORK HOLIDAYS.
Even though it sounds good and you may be at the top of your class, it hurts. I just wanted to bring a couple of points up to you and your office people.
Do you have any other litigation outstanding?
'Cause at this rate - they are going to be in some serious trouble.
(I hear that Halloween is hiring. Don't tell 'em I told you.)
You just wait until my laywer hears about this one. I can see it now, "CUTE RAMPANT SCANTILY-CLAD TEENAGE BOY SHOOTS VICTIMS WITH ARROWS CALLED "LOVE". The headlines are going to eat it up!
Seriously, do they give you those outfits, I think Hooters must use the same company to make them, huh?
Do they know you run around with that arrow and friggin' shoot a bitch? (That was only in Detroit last time I heard.)
You go around with your cute, little happy, go-lucky self with these sharp and quite frankly, dangerous arrows (Does OSHA know about this? They will in a few minutes!) and aim them at unsuspecting, innocent, hard working young people. What did they do? ...minding thier own business and BAM! head over heels over someone. My mom worries about her illness, I worry about being distracted more than I am.
I know, I know, I heard all of you at that conference in Florida last year – you and all those other cherubs running around saying things like, “…as representatives of the order of the arrow, we aim *hehe* to promote and instill the values that perpetuate growth and harmonious unity…”
BLAH, BLAH, BLAH!
Do you know what you did to me?
Is this in a case file?
I clearly see that you need to go to some kind of arrow training anyway, it appears that you shot Andy’s arrow into his ass, that’s where most of his love is! (*blush, sorta just kidding, but that was a GOOD one huh?)
I just wanted to send this quick e-mail to say, that I know you are busy today, I can be sensitive, but for goodness sake, BE CAREFUL out there.
The jungle is not just in South America anymore. (Is that a business trip for you?)
Look, I work for a big company over here in Los Angeles, you may have even heard of it – www.RentBoy.com.
I think I have seen a couple of invoices from your company at our office.
Don’t worry, I am not the bill collector.
...I know how you work, in the name of love, but please, take it easy with us sensitive ones, I am not done with my own work, I enjoy it too much.
This may sound like a letter that is menacing – not at all.
Really, it’s more like a thank you card in disguise.
On this day of the year, when it's all about you, all about you, all about you - I just want to say, THANKS for all that stuff you do for us all out there.
Man, it's got to be hard watch out for trees and stuff (I hear they some new GPS thing for you after the buget is done.) when you are flying around and other occupational hazards, it’s damn hard work, so yea, I do appreciate your effort.
>From a victim's point of view though, buddy, it’s hard to admit when you have so much blood running out of the wound from such a beautiful thing.
Hey Cupie, (...can I call you that?) have a good one, this holiday is for you.
If I can do anything for you, a martini perhaps, *wink* give me a call on my cell phone, I never answer but my voicemails are fun sometimes.
We'll do lunch.
I would say have your people call my people, but actually, please don't. I am backlogged on calls from them. (...and loving it!)
Oh yea, and the Easter bunny said to say hi and he wants that shirt back.
*Uh-huh, I know what you have been up to! I won’t tell!*
Brandon Baker
Sometimes, I outdo myself, this is one of those times.
This is one of those times.
...nothing like tooting your own horn huh?
Today while the baby (..that's right, Brandon Baker the babysitter) is napping, I was able to peck out this cute, totally sarcastic and quick idea that I had to send an e-mail to Cupid and tell him a few things.
(I would give him a piece of my mind, but I don't have much to give away, so a quick e-mail will do fine, don't you think?)
Here is an e-mail I just sent off to Cupid:
